Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto

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Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto

Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto

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I can see how some thoughts might be problematic (safe-sex for example, and the views presented) but again, who are any of us to judge? This doesn't mean they are in any way didactic--they're always accessible, often funny, and, best of all, they leave the reader with the admonishment that "being kind doesn't cost you a dime.

It invites you to say "hang on, that's a bit much" because then you've fallen into the very same societal trap of judging sex when, really, it's all up to an individual in how they wish to discuss it.But it’s no mere titillating freak show, this is experience as peer learning, a seriously oversharing account of how mistakes can lead to transformation, how trauma left to fester reasserts itself in damaging habits and how breakdown can be breakthrough. It’s why we claim bisexuality even if we’ve never had sex with someone of the same or different gender. He has anecdotes from his youth, teens and young adulthood, but given that he can't be much older than his early thirties, a memoir does seem a little, uh, preemptive. Of course sexual shame is as pervasive and as damaging as Zane argues, and much of the information and advice here seems likely to benefit people who take it to heart.

While I agree wholeheartedly, I do not think we, and by “we” I mean the world, will ever rid ourselves of gender stereotypes completely. It implied that all people want so much sex all the time and our repressed culture is PREVENTING THAT! Even with parents who encouraged his sexual exploration and three queer uncles, it took Zach years and many drunken blow jobs to accept his own bisexuality. In fact, the only part I didn't love was that it read quite a lot like a self-help book (when a quote at the beginning implied it wasn't trying to be that) and that's not really for me.

And reading about Zane's own sexual adventures is like getting invited to Sunday brunch by your wittiest, sluttiest, funniest friend and getting to listen to him recount his crazy weekend.

Thanks to modern medicine, we can enjoy sex without the fear of contracting HIV […] I want to have the best sex I can. There are some interesting explorations of polyamory and open marriage that I found encouraging, and some frank discussion of how intimacy can interfere with sexual attraction - not because we've "fallen out of love" but because our sexual attraction may work differently.I think it’s powerful he’s found ways to chuck shame to the side and it’s worth reading and taking note of!

I think the one thing that I vehemently disagreed with, from a public health standpoint, is his laissez-faire attitude toward STIs. Reading about Zane’s own sexual adventures is like getting invited to Sunday brunch by your wittiest, sluttiest, funniest friend and getting to listen to him recount his crazy weekend. Having sex helped me unpack the structural systems that idealise an unhealthy masculinity, promote queerphobia, and perpetuate sex-negativity. There is an entire chapter discussing how STIs are no big deal and that while they aren't fun they ought not to be stigmatized. I definitely went into this memoir expecting mostly to have some fun reading about sexual exploits of a self proclaimed slut, but actually came away from it learning about more than I anticipated.

There’s also lots of intriguing observations around love and sex, where they intersect, where they diverge, and the complicated navigation and exploration of sexual attraction, romance, and intimacy in the LGBTQ+ community. He doesn't encourage the reader to ask themselves how the media has portrayed people of that race, if they have ever interacted with someone of that race in a meaningful way, etc.



  • Fruugo ID: 258392218-563234582
  • EAN: 764486781913
  • Sold by: Fruugo

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